The Hibirds and the Bees
by Khorale
Summary: The day Chrome asked the dreaded question was the day four brave people set out in a quest for the answer. Why do the adults keep running away? Why was Reborn smirking? And this is how Mukuro became a therapist. Crack. One-shot. No pairings.


**The Hibirds and the Bees**

One-Shot.

* * *

"Mukuro-sama, where do babies come from?"

The blue-haired man raised an eyebrow, "Why do you want to know that, Chrome?" he asked, hiding the panic he was feeling inside.

He didn't _know_ the answer, dammit!

"Nothing, Mukuro-sama," Chrome said, "I'm just curious. Sorry for disturbing you, I'll be going now." No doubt his violet haired look-alike would find someone else to ask.

Mukuro was curious as well. His entire life, he had no education. The Estraneo treated him like a test subject, the guards at Vendicare hadn't bothered, and Tsuna just assumed he knew everything. Mukuro really regretted skipping the classes of the school he was _supposed_ to be going to now.

"Wait."

"Mukuro-sama?"

"I'm going with you," he told her, "I'll admit that I am also a bit... curious to where babies come from."

Chrome nodded and followed her leader out the door. Strange, their little hideout was empty. Usually. Ken, M.M, and Chikusa are always in here bickering about something. But right now, it was as if the question she asked had scared them off...

"Let's go to Tsunayoshi's house!" Mukuro decided cheerfully.

* * *

"Eh? Babies?" Tsuna asked in surprise, "You don't know where babies come from?"

The two mist guardians nodded.

"That's easy," Tsuna exclaimed, "So first the mother makes a wish and writes a letter to a Stork, then they wait a few months. When the Baby is made, the Stork - which is a really big bird- will deliver the baby to the mother!"

"..."

Reborn whacked Tsuna on the head, "Baka!"

"Ow!" Tsuna exclaimed, "What was that for Reborn!"

"Your father clearly lied about where babies come from," Reborn said coldly. Being a baby himself (despite also an Acrobaleno), this story was an insult. "Dame-Tsuna, Storks don't exist."

"Oh."

"Why don't you tell us where babies comes from, Reborn-san?" Chrome suggested.

The hitman smirked and shook his head, "As if I would end the fun so quickly."

Strangely, Mukuro could see a glint of terror in the usually fearless Acrobaleno's eyes. Could the answer be so terrifying...?!

"Tsuna, go with Mukuro and Chrome to find out where babies come from," Reborn ordered, "This will be an educational experience for you, and will be... beneficial." Especially if both Kyoko and Haru likes Tsuna. Sooner or later, the boy would have a harem of both genders, so it's better to warn him about the process of reproduction.

"Alright, Reborn," Tsuna said warily. Usually, Reborn's teaching method is highly trumatizing. But this is just a question, right?

...Right.

"Where do we go next?" asked Tsuna.

"Hm... I believe the storm guardian will be the best choice," said Mukuro, "He took a lot of lessons in his family, so he would no doubt know about it."

"Gokudera?" Tsuna pondered, "It wouldn't hurt to ask, right?"

As the three of them left the house, Reborn stared at their back with a pitying expression.

"If they still couldn't find the answer by the time they get back, I'll have to phone the Ninth..."

* * *

"Juudaime! I'm so sorry but I don't know!" Gokudera wailed, "I was sick that day of my lesson because of my sister's poison cooking!"

Mukuro shook his head sadly, "Another dead end. Why didn't anyone know where babies come from?"

"And where are the adults?" Chrome wondered. Once again, they asked the question, and the house quickly emptied out. Gokudera's Apartment Manager ran for his life, shouting to the other inhabitants, "Code black", and they also ran away.

"Hahaha, my old man also said something about a Stork," Yamamoto said, "I guess I'll stick with you guys to find out the answer! C'mon, Gokudera, join us."

"I guess we'll go ask my sister about the lesson I missed," the smoking bomb decided.

Tsuna sighed in frustration, "Why is this so important anyways? If you think Lambo is enough, do you want another one?"

They froze.

"W-well, Ipin isn't that annoying, is she?" Chrome asked, "So if we're going to have babies, we'll have a girl and name it Upin."

Mukuro nodded, "Kufufu... I won't mind having a baby. Should I send a letter to the Stork instead of you, my dear Chrome? If I threaten the Stork enough, perhaps it would give me the strongest baby they have in stock."

"NO!" Tsuna rapidly shook his head, "After Ipin, Lambo, and the Acrobaleno, I have a phobia of strong babies..."

Gokudera nodded in understanding, "The stupid cow would probably bully Upin anyways."

"Um..." Chrome spoke up, "I think I saw Gokudera's sister running away from here."

Gokudera swore, "She must have overheard us dammit!"

"The grownups always seems to flee the area whenever we talk about babies," Tsuna mused, "So we'll ask another kid who know!"

"Kyouya-san seems mature enough," Mukuro grined, "Kufufu... This will be interesting."

* * *

When they got to Hibari's house, they noticed someone also visiting the cloud guardian.

"Eh? Dino-san?" Tsuna gasped.

"Hello Tsuna!" The blond man greeted, unaware of the upcoming horror that was about to unravel in the Hibari household.

"Where's Hibari?"

"Ah," Dino winced, "He's..."

"Behind you." A cold voice said, making them shiver. "What are you Herbivores doing in my house?"

Dino's instincts are now _begging_ him to run and never look back. After years of battling, he had wisely chosen to listen to it.

"Guys?" He said, "I think I'll be going now."

"Not so fast," Mukuro said. Instantly, lotus flowers sprang from the ground and hogtied Dino. The man toppled to the ground with a thump.

"Rokudo. What are you doing?" Hibari glared.

"S-s-s-stop, Hibari and Mukuro!" Tsuna shouted, "We didn't come here to fight! We j-just want to ask you a question, Hibari."

"Speak then Herbivore," said Hibari impatiently. On his head Hibird was napping peacefully.

"Um, cloud-man! Were do babies come from?" Chrome blurted out.

There was a dead silence after her exclaimation.

Dino now really wished he had fled at the first sight of the group.

Hibari, to his eternal shame, _did not know where babies came from_.

"Ask him," he said curtly, pointing to Dino while trying to hide his embarrassment.

"K-kyouya, I don't think..." Dino trailed off after seeing the glares of everybody in the room directed at him. There was no escape now.

"You. Me. Babies. Now," Hibari snapped.

Dino sweadropped, "That's a very awkward way of phrasing it," he said.

A steel tonfa was pointed to the edge of Dino's throat, along with two tridents, Gokudera's dynamite and Tsuna's gloves.

"Oya oya, there's no running from this," Mukuro said sweetly.

"For once I agree with the Herbivores."

On the rooftop, Reborn smirked while watching on the surveillance device. His former student wasn't going to get out of this one without some mortal injuries.

* * *

After two hours of explaining, diagrams, cussing, and trauma, it was over.

The group stumbled awkwardly along the road, avoiding eye-contact with each other. Hibari had joined them with a trip to group-theraphy, though everything will never be the same again.

"Did Dino have to tell us the site where they have stories about us?" Gokudera asked wearily, "What's D59 anyways?"

"I will never look at Xanxus the same way again," Tsuna moaned, "Just look what word you get if you take all the Xs out of his name!"

"And I don't feel that way for Chrome-chan," said Mukuro, "I love her like a sister, and 6996 would be the same as incest."

Chrome went beet red, "I-I don't want you to write a letter to the Stor. Anymore, Mukuro-sama. I don't think Upin could find an egg inside you to hatch from..."

Mukuro snorted, though it was more like a choking sound, "I'm not going to have a baby after knowing all the pain you get beforehand for 9 months!"

"I don't think males having a baby is possible," said Tsuna.

"What are Mpreg then, Herbivore?" Asked Hibari, "Though I hate 6918, I would not bite 1896 to death." That was probably because he would be topping someone who looks like Mukuro.

"Keep your hands away from Chrome!" Mukuro said, "Don't you dare shove your _thingy_ inside her and make her have babies while throwing up and mood swings!"

Tsuna dragged Hibari away, "Ahahah... We'll be leaving now. Bye Mukuro! Chrome! Gokudera!"

"Juudaime said my name last," Gokudera frowned like a kicked puppy, "Had I failed him...?"

"It's alright, Storm-man," Chrome smiled, "We'll be going too."

As they left in their own directions, Mukuro called back to the others' retreating figures, "Five dollars for wiping today's 'lesson' from your memory!"

His house was promptly swarmed with bills the next day.


End file.
